Some days it’s probably better for people if they don’t come into my shop…

I sit at a relatively tall counter in my shop. If you are standing on the other side of the counter, it comes to about midway between my waist and chest. When Rio is behind the counter, no one even sees him back there (he’s like a sneak attack dog when he comes around from behind it).

Today, some dear friends saved my life and brought me some Arby’s. As I was removing the Buffalo chicken sandwich from its easy-access holster (Thanks Arby’s, you guys are the best!), I looked down and see that my affable, loving dog, Rio, is sitting there and staring intently at my sandwich (just like always).

As is often the case, I engage in a conversation with him. Doesn’t everyone talk to their dogs? So, I’m standing over him, looking at my sandwich, looking down at him, and proceed to have this conversation with him:

Me: “I see from the way you are looking at me that you want some!”

Rio: <stares longingly>

Me: “I’ll give you some if you really want some!”

Rio: <Eagerly leaning forward slightly>

Me: “It’s gonna be super hot though, are you sure you want it?”

Rio: <Tails starts wagging>

Me: “Aha, shaking your tail at me, I know what that means!”

Rio: <Shakes tail more vigorously>

Me: “I promise, if you still still just for a minute while I get what I want, I’ll give you some, okay?”

At this moment, I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye. A rather surprised and wide-eyed 60-something woman was staring at me with what I can only assume was the look of a woman about to break into a run.

Me: “oh, Sorry, I didn’t see you there!”

Her: (Still wide-eyed), “Uhh…are you talking to me?”

Me: (It literally, at this point, dawned on me that she didn’t see Rio, and that she thought I was saying those things to her). “Oh, no ma’am! I am talking to my dog, he’s behind the counter!”

She then just kept staring, I’m not sure why. I thought, “okay if I can get her to see Rio, she will believe me.” So I tried calling Rio out, and he wouldn’t budge. Then I moved towards the side of the counter, and this dog, who listens to me 99.99% of the time, chose this time to exercise his .01% right of refusal. So I looked at the lady and said, “he’s just being shy. Do you want to come over behind the counter and see him yourself?”

She looked alarmed for a second (and I realized that I might be on the verge of getting maced), and said, “I think I better go.”

I really didn’t know how to un-awkward the situation, so I gave my usual, farewell, that I say to almost every customer that leaves, which usually seems to innocent: “Thanks for coming in, see you later!” She then looked at me wide-eyed, again, and rushed out the door.

For my friends who are lawyers, I have a question: Are restraining orders hard to fight? Asking for a friend…